Setbacks ~ a Fact of Life

Setbacks ~ no one wants it but everyone experiences it. Somewhere in your life you've may had to take a few steps back or start from scratch again. And then it hits you ~ your progress has taken a down turn! You want to give up, you have doubts creeping into your mind and you feel that it was all nothing but a waste of time! All while you're trying to cope with the high levels of stress you're experiencing.

There are changes coming and occuring in your life. The instability in your life that you are experiencing or will experience is due to growth for you, a lesson to be learned and the opportunity to stand tall and be strong again. Your biggest challenges will stare you in the face and expect you to fall down and grovel, to give up from within, to undo all you have done so far! But to stand tall even if you have had to take a few steps back is to declare that no matter what, you will continue to get stronger, to live a better life, to have your prosperity in every area shift to what you want and you will move forward.


This is your time to pick yourself up ~ Richard Branson comes to mind for this; no matter how many times he tried to ballon around the world he didn't do so without many setbacks, with being blown off course and of course crashing but his determination led to his strength growing and the actions he took kept inspiring him ~ yes, he is a billionaire who has amassed even more with all the publicity he received on a global scale but liken it to yourself and to the people around you who know and do not know you. Every time you stand up stonger, determined, giving it your all you prove to yourself and others around you that your strength in character far outweighs anything else.

You determine your life but more importantly your actions determine you and those around you. No matter what is thrown in your face persist with what ever it is you want, do not give up and for every set back remember there is a brighter future; things will and do change (even if would like it to change instantly!).

Letting Go ~ Is It Harder Than You Anticipated

Why do people find it easier to let go of things in their lives such as clothing and household goods but unable to change themselves as quickly and as easily?

It is easier to get rid of the external influences due to the fact they're not physically and emotionally attached therefore not causing much pain, clothing and household goods fall into that category.

The process of change can be a painful experience and all the memories put together with all the emotional ties and beliefs give us the meaning in our lives.

For some people this meaning is all they have known, this meaning has given them their purpose, their destiny up until now for their own exploration of the world. To expect them to change at the pace another does is a folly, including changing self.

It is taking away purpose and meaning in their life, and stripping that away without the gradual change (and change is a gradual process - to expect behaviours etc... to vanish overnight to be replaced by other behaviours that are more favourable is putting a gun to the head and pulling the trigger) is leaving behind an empty shell with no real and new experiences being learnt to replace that empty space.

Even a newborn baby is not an empty space. Research shows that as the baby grows in the womb the brain starts adapting to the mothers environment, emotions, beliefs etc... this is neurological patterning in effect. Understaning the science that our brains are plastic and therefore able to change and also understanding that only gradual change is lasting change, can make the biggest differences. Those looking for a quick fix are living in a world of disillusion. They want a habit to vanish overnight.

If a person starts taking action given the appropriate coaching where the very foundations of their beliefs are shaken and understanding the impact that these beliefs has had on their life and by creating new beliefs then slowly but surely change can occur. And persistence is the key. Trying over and over again is not in fact trying: it is having failure and resistance meeting you over and over again as obstacles and challenges meet you face to face. Giving up is walking away, never to do the same thing ever again without seeing what the results of your efforts ~ ie change in progress.

Given that past behavious have served us the way they were meant too and then being exposed to the fact they are no longer wanted is a shock and a jolt to the system. Comapassion is called for in a situation like this. Liken it to an employee who has been loyal and faithful over several years being told to leave, the behaviour of that employee will be the same, they may physically leave but emotionally and mentally they are still tied to that place, the employers, their job etc... they had felt fulfilled, happy and elated with the stability this has provided them in their life. Suddenly their very ground shakes under them leaving them unstable and directionless. Had the employee been given the time to move on to another job or position (also known as the transition stage) wth the process being gradual then they would have their footing to move forwad in life.

To have your world ripped apart and having to build from scratch (same with behaviours) then appropriate role model/s are required day in and day out, just like a parent is their for their child, from conception to the time when they start making big decisions themselves. if that role model is not available 24/7 then change will occur at the pace where the role model/s are exposed to them. Without those role models expect more than chaos to reign. So why don't some people change? Lots of factors to take into account, given the appropriate training and exposure anyone can change.

Obstacles

How do you treat your obstacles? Do you face them and challenge them, push them aside, run away from them, get frustrated or anything else?

I had an interesting experience to day when I was walking my dog. She kept walking directly into my pathway and I had to keep putting her next to me. I noticed I was getting more and more frustrated all because I was going somewhere and instead of walking next to me she had decided she was going somewhere and needed to be in front of me.

We played this game for a little while and then I had a little think about it. I thougght to myself, "what if this were an obstacle? How should I treat it?" I had been using somewhat aggressive techniques to put her next to me, commanding her, shortening her lead. None of these had produced any results.

Going around a corner I started to talk to her softly, gently nudged her wherever I wanted her to be while still praising her, while in my heart thanking her for teaching me something new. I noticed it made a difference to her and of course to me. The whole process suddenly became playful, peaceful even and enjoyable. So I went from being frustrated to a felling of serenity. The more I did this the better I felt, the more enjoyable our walk became. It was lovely and with the sweltering day that this was, it became a pleasant experience, and we walked next to each other ~ walking in the same direction.

Later on I thought about those people in our lives whom we are moving in the same direction towards but we don't see them moving that way; we see them blocking us, challenging us, frustrating us all because they are wanting to get to where ever it is that they are going and not realising we too are going there. How often do we have this? Often enough that we notice it ~ but we notice it not as something that can be pleasant, but as something that is against us.

Once we realise that the same people as those we think of as obstacles are moving in the same direction as ourselves we can respond to them differently. Start this in your life. Start noticing how you respond and change your response pattern. Start talking softly, gently nudging while letting the other person know that we are walking in the same direction whether it's vocally, energectically or with your body language. Start noticing the results you produce in your life from this. Start noticing your emotions changing, your thoughts and your life. Start noticing how you become more peaceful and be in flow of your surroundings.