Obstacles

How do you treat your obstacles? Do you face them and challenge them, push them aside, run away from them, get frustrated or anything else?

I had an interesting experience to day when I was walking my dog. She kept walking directly into my pathway and I had to keep putting her next to me. I noticed I was getting more and more frustrated all because I was going somewhere and instead of walking next to me she had decided she was going somewhere and needed to be in front of me.

We played this game for a little while and then I had a little think about it. I thougght to myself, "what if this were an obstacle? How should I treat it?" I had been using somewhat aggressive techniques to put her next to me, commanding her, shortening her lead. None of these had produced any results.

Going around a corner I started to talk to her softly, gently nudged her wherever I wanted her to be while still praising her, while in my heart thanking her for teaching me something new. I noticed it made a difference to her and of course to me. The whole process suddenly became playful, peaceful even and enjoyable. So I went from being frustrated to a felling of serenity. The more I did this the better I felt, the more enjoyable our walk became. It was lovely and with the sweltering day that this was, it became a pleasant experience, and we walked next to each other ~ walking in the same direction.

Later on I thought about those people in our lives whom we are moving in the same direction towards but we don't see them moving that way; we see them blocking us, challenging us, frustrating us all because they are wanting to get to where ever it is that they are going and not realising we too are going there. How often do we have this? Often enough that we notice it ~ but we notice it not as something that can be pleasant, but as something that is against us.

Once we realise that the same people as those we think of as obstacles are moving in the same direction as ourselves we can respond to them differently. Start this in your life. Start noticing how you respond and change your response pattern. Start talking softly, gently nudging while letting the other person know that we are walking in the same direction whether it's vocally, energectically or with your body language. Start noticing the results you produce in your life from this. Start noticing your emotions changing, your thoughts and your life. Start noticing how you become more peaceful and be in flow of your surroundings.

Only You

Only you have the power to create your future. Only you have the power to destroy your future. Only you have the power to live this moment the way you want to. Only you can discover what about you is holding you back and when you've cleared that from yourself you can continue on your journey.

I have had the distinct pleasure while I am on holidays to make a difference to myself and to others. But let me focus on what I got so you too may have that in your life.

A few days ago I couldnt help but be angry with my son. Yes, my son whom I dont get to see as often as I would like to because he lives overseas and we have holiday time together. I kept getting angrier and more frustrated than ever before, and I havent been that way for a long time. So I sought out the only help available to me on that day, my husband and spoke to him about what I could do to really help the situations positively rather than getting angry. I got the ususal lecture, be calm, dont bite into it, walk away.

I reflected on what he said and kept thinking to myself okay what is the most obvious answer that I am avoiding. (I had recently read - actually that day- a book where the main character had over and over again asked herself the very question that I wans now asking. I had been doing all that he said but I had kept getting plugged in, when in a flash a thougth came to me; honey, I dont feel supported. Huh?!?

So I explored this new idea that flashed in my mind and lo and behold the answers came fast. I realised that as my son is my husband's stepson he defers to me when it comes to any matter of discipline even when our daughter is involved in the dispute and I am the one who is creating calm on the situation and being looked upon as the non-fun person because I chose to create harmony between the children but at the expense of my own time out which leaves me frustrated as I am then unable to have that time to focus on me.

The more we talked about it the more my husband saw that his behaviour of deferring and walking away was giving my son the message - it's okay for you to hurt your sister by me but dont do it in front of your mom. How many other children, boys and girls out there get the same message from their parents when only one parent is assigned the role of disciplining the children and the other walks away? What other messages are we giving to our children by doing this? And from this I realised that it wasnt just my responibility to be the one to discipline the children and to have my partner engage in that activity so that a balance is created. It is a two way street where one gives way to another.

Well, well, well, imagine my surprise when my son played out his role and my husband stepped in and told him distinctly that it was inappropriate behaviour and would result in privileges being taken away. He (my husband) was firm and very beleivable. Once more it happened (the waters were being tested) and yes, privileges were taken away and I got to do what I wanted to and have the peace and calm restored in my soul.

Since then I've barely had to say boo and there is no anger and no frustration, just love and the support is amazing - feedback from my husband - he feels more empowered in looking after the children then what he has before.

So all in all I have the power to create the change I'm looking for as do you. Ask yourself what it is that is most obvious that you're avoiding looking at.